Jul 31 2008
Keeping it Platonic or Sending Mixed Signals
As I say here often, I’m friends with a lot of guys. And with my friends, male and female, I happen to be very encouraging towards them in all aspects. I also tend to flirt a bit, but I thought I was keeping that separate from my friendships. Apparently I thought wrong.
I need to find a balance. I used to be Queen Meanie. If you liked me, I didn’t encourage you much, just made you feel lucky to be in my presence. These days I’m more embracing of people (well, men) that reach out to me because even though I may not be interested in dating, you never know how cool (or un-cool) some people are until you get to know them.
At the same time I can’t fake it. If I’m not interested, I don’t pretend because I’m not into leading people astray. Am I rambling? Ok, let me be more specific.
Somehow I befriended this guy, D. We went to school together at some point. He said “what’s up?” I said “hey.” And we reconnected. Well, I thought we were engaging in friendly banter for a while. Then D started calling me. Errr??? It began as friendly chit chat that I always cut short because I really don’t talk on the phone. I text. I e-mal. I get together. But phone time is reserved for the family back at home, basically.
Anyhow, D now has taken to sending me these “thinking about you “ style texts in the morning, afternoon and throughout the day. Huh??? This morning’s message made if very CLEAR that he thinks we have “something” going on.
How do I get into these situations? A couple of years ago I had a male friend at home that I spoke to almost daily. Suddenly he started ending the phone calls by saying “I love and miss you.” HUH??? Wait. When did we get to that point? How do you fall in love with me and we’re not spending time together, rather we’re just shooting the shit?? I was confused then. And I’m super confused now.
There’s an age old debate about men and women not being able to be just friends. I’m going to start believing in that soon because my male friends almost always end up coming out of left field with me. I am Haute and everything, but sheesh!
Has anyone else experienced anything like that? You think you’re just being good natured and you look up one day and you’re in a pseudo relationship???? How can I get out of this situation without hurting feelings or seeming like a bitch??
