Jun 24 2008
What’s So Wrong With Being “Traditional?”
Of course I have to put traditional in quotation marks for the nay-saying skeptics out here. After my “I don’t call men” post and many other conversations I’ve had, I’m met with many differing opinions. I have those that say you can’t have it both ways. You can’t be traditional with some ideals and liberal with others. Why not? In politics there’s a such thing as a conservative liberal, why can’t I be that in my daily life and spread it across all areas? Don’t I get to create who I want to be?
Sunday I had a long conversation with dating coach Yvonne Chase. No, I’m not seeing a dating coach – any problems I have in that area are likely due to the slim pickings available in L.A. not necessarily my approach to dating. Anyhow, I mentioned to her that I have a problem with paying for dates. I do. I admit it freely. And before you bombard me hear me out, okay?
My real issue there is that everything is so casual and lax when it comes to that. Men say things like “if you’re such an independent woman, why do you need me to pay for your dinner? Why not pay for mine?” Blasphemous! First off: I don’t need anyone to pay for anything, if I do I call mommy and daddy, not some dude. I do everything I want to do, and whether I’m on a date or not, I was going to eat, see a movie, go to a play or museum. Secondly, I can only do what I am accustomed to, and I am not accustomed to paying for a man’s anything. In my past, even after dating one person at length, I’ve offered and those men have refused and even appeared offended that I would offer, as if I was emasculating them. Those are the men I like!
Then, you (men, in case you’re not clear on my reference) want to be casual in one area, but serious in another. Another meaning sex. You want me to go Dutch or even pay for you because “we’re just dating” after all, it’s nothing serious. But then you are in a rush to get in my pants? What’s up with that? Sex, in my opinion, is serious business!
I just think the essence of courtship is lost today. Possibly because people don’t know what it is, or it’s true purpose. Possibly? What say you?
Note: feel free to click that Wikipedia link in case you too are confused about the importance of courtship. Admitting is half the battle.
There’s nothing wrong with beibg “traditional” or with not being “traditional”. There is something wrong with not being you, the way you are, no changes just because some shithead says you should be another way. If someone doesn’t like the way you are, that’s on them. If they have a problem with you being YOU, that’s their fault, and obviously they weren’t good enough to talk to you anyway.