Single in L.A.

A real gordita, not the Taco Bell variety. Photo: Wikimedia Commons

Just yesterday I was reading about the good old smile and say hi technique over at A Belle in Brooklyn (one of my all time favorite blogs). Anyhow I relished in the fact that I had this come hither tactic down and it really did work to draw men to me. I guess I didn’t realize that it works even when I’m not trying. Sometimes you’re just walking up the street minding your business. Sometimes you just smile and say hi to be cordial. And, yes, sometimes cordiality leads you to an impromptu “date.”

Last night it was so hot in the valley that I would have sworn that someone had rubbed a habanero pepper puree all over my body and left me to swelter. Seriously. At 8 in the evening it was 105 degrees!! I was sweating and I DO NOT SWEAT. And I was hungry too but didn’t dare turn on the stove before heading out for the night’s debauchery. So I decided to walk across the street and indulge in a gordita from La Pica Rica. What? I can have a gordita! Surely I sweated the calories away simply by chewing while sitting in the sauna disguised as my apartment (the AC was on and it was STILL hot).

As I’m approaching the door so is a thin, older white man who’d just hopped from his Harley. I smile in his direction. That’s all it took. That’s it. There was no actual “hello.” He, Ted, says “Oh my God!” Startled, I jumped: “what?” He then tells me that he didn’t expect to see such “a magnificent vision when just stopping for some lemonade” and it must be his “lucky night.” Not really dude. I’m getting a gordita and going.

After some back and forth he asks if I’ll sit and talk to him if he pays for my dinner. He only wants to “look at that beautiful smile for a little while.” Flattered as I am, I declined. Letting this man buy my food would be like accepting a drink from a stranger at a bar, which I don’t do. My time costs a lot more than Grey Goose and Grapefruit and I don’t go out seeking things I can’t pay for. But Ted actually begs, so I relent because I need the apartment to cool off before I go back anyway (next morning and it’s still hot).

So I guess my little four five date experiment started early? Who knew my mere mention of random dating just to see what’s what would open the floodgates? And if the next four are going to be anything like the first, then I know to expect the unexpected and be prepared for anything.

To be continued…

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