Jun 11 2008
Dating: The Code of Conduct
The other day I mentioned that I might post some of my standards, rules if you will. These rules are by no means popular. Why? Well…not many have the amount of self control and lack of neediness that I possess. I don’t think I can post the entire thing at once though. So I’ll start with the most controversial.
#1 I don’t call men. EVER. I’ll return your call. I’ll answer when you call me (assuming that I like you and have time to talk).We’ll definitely converse, but not because I called you.
Why, you ask? I was taught that men should be pursuing women. That if a girl is sitting around calling boys (when I was younger) then the boy doesn’t get to play “his role” so to speak. In essence, the natural order is messed up. So if I’m calling you all the time then I feel like I’m doing the pursuing and thereby doing nature a injustice. This has always worked for me. And honestly, not one man as ever noticed that I’m not calling him. Not because he didn’t want to talk to me. But because they ALWAYS call, I answer, we talk and make plans to talk later (or whatever).
I’ve gotten so much flack for this from my close male friends for this! They think it’s rude, presumptuous and selfish. But mostly they’re mad because before I admitted it, they didn’t realize that they were the ones always doing the calling.
I only broke this rule once and it turned out very, very badly. And I’ll tell you more about that and another of the gems from my “Code of Conduct” tomorrow.
*I can already hear (see) what a specific someone is going to say. But I want the men to think hard: How many times can you recall the woman doing the calling? Or, do you even mind being the one to call?
I agree totally with this. I never call men either. I think it makes a woman too needy if she’s always doing the calling, and besides, I want to see how much a guy likes me so I wait until he calls me.
This also works because it always seems like I have ‘better things to do’ than wait by the phone for his call.
-Diana
http://single.today.com
Eh, I’ve never had any problem calling. I don’t think either party should be the one always making that move. I don’t like putting all control of communications in the other person’s court.
I’ve never had any problem being the one to call, but if I’m the one always calling then there is a problem.
Gina
http://celebritytoday.today.com
http://ginasramblings.blogspot.com
I have had it work both ways. He would, I would call and eventually we just moved in together. Now most of the time I wish I hadn’t called. LOL
Do you text? Or only respond to his text?
If he calls once and you miss the call and callback and he doesn’t answer, do you try calling again or do you assume he got your message? Do you have set hours for fielding calls? Do you have caller ID? Which number do you give out - home or cell or both? Do you call him back at work? Do you receive calls while at work? So many things to think about nowadays!
I never really had a problem calling a guy although to be honest I always hated talking on the phone so I just never really did it that much. :OP
Although I am married, I can recall that I did not give my phone number out to my husband. I told him I did not give out my number to people I hardly knew. So, he gave me his, and after a few weeks I finally gave him a ring. Worked out great for me! We have been married for 16 yrs.
http://afrugalmom.today.com/
my story went much like grt8day’s. met a really interesting guy and we discussed the female giving random guy her phone number bit… in the end he gave me his phone number. i waited a few days to call (and by our second date i knew he was the guy i wanted to marry). six years later, we’re married, and i still have the slip of paper he wrote out his number on =)
http://femalegamer.com